As a counsellor in Brighton, I thought it worthwhile to write a piece on making the decision to come
to counselling.
Stigma
Coming to counselling for the first time, it can feel daunting. I feel there is still a stigma attached to it, which sometimes as practitioners, because we inhabit this world we sometimes forget what this
can feel like.
For me, as clichéd as it may sound, it’s no different to a gym membership, or a refresher course…. it’s an opportunity to take some time to look at what’s not working quite as well as it could, look at strategies, or safely look a bit a deeper at what could be some of the underlying causes.
“I’ve been ok up until now….”
A client asked me “Why bother? I’ve been ok up ‘til now, things aren’t perfect but it’s got me this
far”.
Starting can be difficult. Doing something new can be difficult. Counselling and psychotherapy only go as far as the client wants to go.
The therapist can look collaboratively at something with you that might shift an understanding in you… but you will be at the centre of the work.
It is not about getting out the levers and pulleys to push you somewhere you don’t want to go, but arriving at a deeper understanding of why and where you are at.
“Never trust a therapist who hasn’t had therapy”
Lastly, if a therapist has been there themselves they have experienced the hard work, the leap, the potential fear… and as a consequence the tools from formal training have also been sharpened by
experience.
This isn’t – and this cannot be stressed strongly enough – about saying “I know how you feel”, it is about equalising the power balance, the therapist having sharpened empathy about what it is like to sit opposite someone and start, with courage, what can feel initially like a daunting journey.
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